So you made it through yet another Thanksgiving, congratulations. As we all regretfully returned to work on monday, I’m sure the first thing out of everyone’s mouth in the office was, “how was your thanksgiving?”. What the hell do you mean how was my thanksgiving?

Why do people always ask these kinda questions after a holiday break? What do they want you to say, “man.. mine was fucked up. woke up with another dead hooker and I think I may have robbed a bank. also I burnt my turkey and the gravy sucked”. After thinking this through for a bit I came to the conclusion that, yes they deep down want you to say this. Anything bad to make their holiday experience seem less shitty then yours. I mean if someone tells you how great of a time it was and how much fun they’d had, you’d think they were some gloating prick, trying to rub their perfect Brady’s life in your face and probably go out to the parking lot with the intent of keying their car just to take the smarmy bastard down a peg.

But usually all this is avoided with the basic candid answer everyone gives, “it was fine, we had (insert random food here), and my (insert random mooching relative you don’t actually like) had dinner with us”. This way we all feel pretty equal with our crappy lives and have more time to be depressed about the fact that the vacation is over, and its back to slaving away until the next one. damnit…