So while most of the free world is scribbling overly-analyzed articles about the iJesus^1. , I have decided to use this time to speak about more important topic: Paris Hilton. More specifically, one woman’s refusal to cover Paris Hilton as the lead news story ahead of both the current war and/or any other worthwhile news event.

So I will admit that, like the other 75% of the US, I don’t watch the news. (I’m sure some old guy is about to hit me over the head with his cane and tell me how much of a crime that is.) What can I say, I just don’t care that much. Honesty, if the news actually covered RELEVANT topics these days, I might actually watch it. But in this reality, the news is actually driven by popularity, celebrities, and generalized bullshit, not actual news. It refreshing to see someone actually get fed up with reporting on how Paris did some “community service”^2. to get herself an early release. Last time I checked we were in the middle of a war, we had a Vice President with practically more power than the President, and global issues that nobody wants to actually deal with, or admit are actually happening^3. . Yet you’ll find more coverage on what nipple covers Angelina Jolie has on when she wears a sheer dress to the Oscars. Wait, that may actually be compelling news…

Anyway, you know what I’m saying: enough is enough. This is why the rest of the world hates us. Wake up people!

1. the second coming [↩]
2. you know what I mean ;D [↩]
3. i’m looking at you global warming [↩]